CALMING DOWN A BABY 9-12 MONTHS

What are the best ways to soothe a fussy baby? 9-12 months

Babies cry to tell us something. At 9–12 months, your baby may cry because they are hungry, tired, teething, frustrated while learning new skills, or missing you. Separation anxiety is very common at this age. Responding with comfort helps your baby feel safe and builds trust.

Start with the basics:

Check for common needs:

  • Hunger or thirst
  • Teething pain
  • Wet or dirty diaper
  • Too tired or missed a nap
  • Too warm or too cold
  • Overstimulation or boredom
  • Frustration from trying new skills like crawling, standing, or walking

Sometimes just meeting one simple need makes a big difference.

Try gentle ways to calm your baby:

Comforting movement
Rocking, gentle bouncing, or walking while holding your baby can help calm big feelings. Baby carriers can be soothing too.

Teething relief
Cold teething rings, a chilled washcloth, or gentle gum massage may help sore gums feel better.

White noise
Soft white noise or quiet “shushing” sounds can help your baby relax, especially during naps or bedtime.

Pacifier support
Pacifiers can help babies calm themselves and are safe to use during sleep.

Change the space
If your baby feels overwhelmed, try dimming the lights, moving to a quieter room, or stepping outside for fresh air.

Connection matters
Many babies this age need extra reassurance. Holding, cuddling, talking softly, and responding consistently help your baby feel secure. Comforting your baby does not create bad habits.

When to call a healthcare provider:

Reach out if your baby:

  • Has a fever (follow your provider’s guidance, often 100.4°F / 38°C or higher)
  • Has crying that sounds unusual or very high-pitched
  • Is hard to wake or very sleepy
  • Cries for more than 2 hours with no clear reason
  • Shows signs of pain or illness
Are pacifiers OK to use? 9-12 months

Yes. Pacifiers are safe to use at this age, and many babies still find them very comforting. Some babies naturally start to lose interest, while others continue to use a pacifier for calming and sleep. Both are okay.

The American Academy of Pediatrics shares that offering a pacifier at naps and bedtime may help lower the risk of SIDS during the first year.

Why pacifiers can be helpful:

They can make sleep safer
Using a pacifier when putting your baby down to sleep has been linked to a lower risk of SIDS.

They help with big feelings
Between 9–12 months, babies experience strong emotions and separation anxiety. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention explains that sucking is a natural way babies calm themselves when they feel overwhelmed.

They can help with teething
Many babies are getting new teeth during this stage. Sucking and gentle chewing can provide comfort for sore gums.

Things to remember:

Feeding is well established
By 9–12 months, breastfeeding or bottle-feeding routines are typically well established. Pacifier use at this age does not usually interfere with feeding.
The La Leche League International supports this.

Follow your baby’s lead
If your baby drops the pacifier or only wants it at sleep times, that’s normal.
Once your baby falls asleep, you don’t need to replace it if it falls out.

Keep pacifiers safe
The AAP recommends:

  • No strings or cords around the neck
  • Use a one-piece pacifier
  • Replace pacifiers that are cracked or worn
  • Keep pacifiers clean

Think long-term
Pacifiers are safe and helpful now. If your child continues to use one after age 2–3, your dentist may talk with you about slowly reducing use. The American Dental Association offers guidance on pacifier use and oral health.

Pacifiers can be a helpful comfort tool during the 9–12 month stage.

If your baby likes one, great. If they don’t, that’s okay too.

Use pacifiers safely, follow safe sleep guidelines, and choose what works best for your family.

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2023). Pacifiers and infant sleep.

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2023). Pacifier safety tips.

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2024). Teething: Tips for soothing sore gums.\

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Infant soothing and comfort. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.

La Leche League International. (2023). Pacifiers and breastfeeding

American Dental Association. (2024). Pacifiers.